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Various Quotes from Roleplaying Games

Quote Board From Perry's Buffy: The Vampire Slayer:

Perry  - Storyteller
Alicia - Piper, the Slayer
Paul - the Watcher
Kim - Alanna,
the Witch
Brad - the Conspiracy Theorist
Andrew N - Totem Warrior
Spiffy - the Guest Star



  Nye doesn't have a heart.  He min-maxed it away. - Perry

  The next pretzel you eat could be your last. - Spiffy

  You can probably use a cheerleader for that. - Brad

  So your entire organization consists of a lot of older men who are concerned about one young girl. - Andrew N

  Since when is Alanna Jewish? - Paul

  Sorry, I want to go to my certain doom. - Andrew N

  Have you seen a horror movie?  You shouldn't do that... - Andrew N

  You've smelt the creepy. - Perry

  You missed the inappropriate comment? - Kim
  You're the master of inappropriate comments! - Andrew N

  Kim, you're the bottom so you start out on top.  Oh, god.  I'm gay and I didn't see that coming. - Perry

  Less discussion, more death. - Perry

  I only powergame a little bit. - Andrew N

Early March 05

  Think if Austin Powers had teeth designed for rending the flesh of the innocent... - Perry
  He doesn't? - Brad

  Apparently, you never went to Sunnydale, but that's a different story." - Paul

  I'm a watcher, that's what I do.  I watch... Not in a freaky, voyeuristic way. - Paul

  You wouldn't let me play with swords.  You only let me play with daggers, small knives, and a crossbow. - Alicia

Quote Board From Ed's All Flesh Must Be Eaten:

Ed - Zombie Master
- The Cruel Cheerleader
Andrew S - The Geek
Noel -
The Dumb Football Player


  It's a wreath.- Andrew S
  It's the first time you've ever seen a circular family tree. It's more like a family board.- Ed C

  Look at my two fleshy meat pockets!- Noel F

  And we're back to the zombies and sex.- Andrew S


  Well, the other electronics don't work...- Andrew S
  ...A Chainsaw? - Ed
  It's a very modern chainsaw. - Andrew S

  It's sugar-free-a-licious, because my life is a living hell. - Ed

  Now you're playing rugby, with horrible monsters. - Ed

  We need potions. - Andrew S
  It's a zombie movie, not Castlevania. - Ed

  This isn't John Wayne world. You shoot the flashlight and it works? - Ed
  The Buck Rogers School of Repair. - Andrew S

  I wanted to see what was down there. - Noel
  Well, with the flashlight down there, we can. - Kim

  I know what will kill the zombies!  Sex! - Ed

  It's a new cult classic porn film: Sex of the Living Dead. - Andrew S

  I've just had to give myself a swirlie. - Andrew S

  Here lies "INSERT NAME HERE", disturb at your own peril. - Kim

Quote Board From Kim's Changeling:

Kim - Storyteller
Andrew S - Satyr Professional Wrestler
Ed - Poodle Pooka Little Girl
Noel - Nocker Teacher


  Ed's playing in character out of game again! - Andrew S and Kim (in unison)

  Just release her into the wild and we'll catch up to her later. - Ed

  13 is not almost 30. - Andrew S
  If you go by traditional math. - Ed

  Come up with damn good brownie jokes that don't involve cub scouts.  - Andrew S

  Stop playing my character out of game. - Noel

  No, I think, 'I need to fuck' is enough of a lie, being said said by a 10 year old. - Ed

  It's like an episode of Seinfeld. - Andrew S


  You would stuff children's toys down the stripper's pants. - Ed

  Do you have any weird abilities? - Kim
  What do you mean? - Andrew S
  Anything not on your character sheet. -Kim

  Second degree chimerical burns? - Noel


  What is the natural enemy of a chimerical soldier?. - Kim
  A chimerical hooker? -Ed
  A chimerical liberal lobbyist? -Andrew S

  Are you sure you are a wrestler? - Ed

  I'm throwing my Pokeball and yelling "ChickenHawk go!" - Ed

  What do I need willpower for anyways? - Andrew
  It's not like he wants to resist his urges. - Ed

  I'm going to kick someone who is cumbered. - Noel


  Hey, it's John Troll-volta. - Ed
  That's it Ed, you can't talk for the remainder of the scene. -Andrew S

  Isn't it past your bed time? - Andrew S (holding Ed's character by the throat)
  Haaaaaaakkkk.  -
Ed's Character


  Oh, that's going to bite me in the karma. - Ed

  He's pinch bitching! - Andrew S

  I'm going to ride the unicorn. - Ed
  Your character is no longer a virgin. - Noel
  Not that kind of ride. - Andrew S

  I have the distinct impression that it is clobbering time. - Andrew S

  Ed, why are you not writing? - Andrew S


  And they call her Candle Foot. - Ed

  Absconded? - Andrew S


  There are all types of fairies in San Francisco. - Ed

  Manditorily Voluntarily. - Kim

  Chroma-saytr. - Ed

  He's not a pedophile. *wink*. - Ed

Quote Board From Andrew S's Shadow Chasers:

Andrew S- DM
Ed- Willow-Wannabe
Kim- The Professor
Noel- Albino Freak


  Those things are real and I want to get a dog. -Ed

  I'm going to show her what a real meat sandwich is like. -Noel

  That's another innuendo job. -Andrew S


  Kim and I had no miscommunications today. -Ed
 We didn't talk today. -Kim

  But I was in girl scouts, where I was ostracized. -Ed

  This is like Chutes and Ladders, only without the chutes and ladders. -Ed


  We can pretend to be ninjas. -Ed

  Can you sharpen these for us? -Ed

  It will take about an hour. -Andrew S
  You have 2 minutes! -Ed

  They could be a lot easier than our five foot Roteka. -Noel

  Wow, you used duct tape on a duct. -Andrew S


  I was laughing so hard I forgot how to write. -Ed

  You double-mortgaged your soul? -Kim

  Shut up Noel! Ed write that down! -Andrew S

  I hope we can get through this conversation without anyone biting anyone. -Kim


  Quick, Andrew S, eat a piece of pizza and drink some lard! -Ed

  Or Puppet-Gate, as it has been called by you. -Andrew S
  No, it hasn't. -Ed

  You sound like a salesperson from RadioShack. -Ed (to Kim, in game)

  My e-mail is WhiteMeat. -Noel (playing the Albino guy)

  We're getting our masks and Hummers! -Noel

  I'm thinking about this relationship. Roll for traps. -Kim

  Evil is as evil does. -Kim

  Help! Our DM has been taken over by an NPC! -Noel


  And Ed never got his body back, THE END. -Andrew S

  He can do an other-worldly sigh. -Andrew S

  She has a plunger and she keeps plunging and plunging. -Noel

  That's reasonable precaution for evil puppets. -Kim
  I can't believe I just said that. -Kim


  Ed prepares to write the quote down. -Andrew S

  This monster attack is like a cell phone ad! - Ed

  But that's against Horror Movie Rule #4! -Kim

  I'm going to listen at the kitty door and exit out the doggie door. -Ed

  I'm too smart to read. -Ed


  Thus the flavor of the game is set. -Andrew S

  Look at me and think girl, look at anyone else and don't. - Kim

  He leaves you to your revelry with the depressing goth kids and the poor cover band. -Andrew S

  This is something we are doing to the world  . . .  as we know it. -Andrew S (a little homage to REM)

  Where do you keep these creatures? -Noel
  You know that wood chipper out back. -Ed

  I'm the teacher ma'am. -Kim (a little homage to Aretha)


©Kimberly Fortuner 2004. All lyrics ©1994-2004. Music ©1993-2004.